50 Years BiPolar 1 Never Felt Better
 Illness Stigma Family Friends Careers, Life Lessons
In my Wainwrights Shoes Memoir By Chris Wainwright,
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9. Fraud in the Family Business
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I won’t be the only employee with a mental illness who’s been fraudulently abused in their family business. I have bipolar disorder type 1 caused by a faulty mood gene running in the family. Once diagnosed and properly medicated the depressions and manic episodes which characterise the illness can be stabilised and life lived normally. I’ve had bipolar for nearly fifty years and having accumulated a lot of experience I'd like to share my opinions and conclusions. For one thing I felt demoralised by this complex mental illness and I'm certain many others still feel the same. For another I remain astonished that my GPs and psychiatrist delayed my diagnosis which made me leave my legal career and return to our family business desparate for a cure. Even as a solicitor, the bipolar 1 depression stopped me looking after myself. Although my doctors knew I had a recurring illness they didn't refer me until age 35 when I became stable. I was thoroughly stigmatised by then and my self-belief had gone. Anyone in similar circumstances will be at risk. Untreated bipolar episodes will debilitate you and you can be taken advantage of. From age 22 my bipolar illness became inextricably linked to my life and it was the reason I returned to our 100 year old specialist family footwear business. Unless I outline what happened to me my memoir won't make  sense. I often wonder how many others faced a similar position to me!
 
As a young man I wanted my own sales company but privately Dads wish was that I should become a solicitor. He always knew what was best for me and I couldn't accuse him of not caring. If anything he cared too much. He found it difficult to let us make our own decisions. I couldn't help but notice how things changed when it got to his youngest child! Mum had a better approach but was often overruled by dad. I spent several years working as a lawyer just as he wanted. I have to admit that I did actually like it. I only left because the doctors didn't tell me I had an illness and I thought that it was the legal work making me depressed!. My ‘dream’ job was to be an infantry weapons instructor - boys and their toys! Given the chance and a decent pair of specs I'd fancy it today! Many of us who grew up in the post war era loved guns and shooting. They were a sport, a hobby and a big part of my life even after my bipolar manic episode which caused quite an upset
 
I hope my memoir will help anyone who has bipolar 1 whether or not they work in their family business. There are approximately 12,000 such people in the uk! Problems between family members are common due to the competitive nature of close relationships. Whether it's siblings, parents or others, family businesses are different in comparison to other companies. What made all my legal employers unusual was that none of them helped very much. It's sad that our own family business was actually my worst employer of all. For years I put up with bullying and abuse. The following extract is based on the original notes made for my memoir ‘In my Wainwrights Shoes’. 


In My Wainwrights Shoes. Memoir extract by C A Wainwright

I’d always thought myself lucky being born into a family which owned its own business until I found out I'd also inherited its bipolar disorder gene. I’d left the legal profession wrongly believing that the work had caused a serious depression. Truth was my doctors decided not to tell me I had bipolar 1 - their deceit went on for 14 years. In the hope of shaking off what was my third depression I returned to the shops working with my father, younger brother and staff at Princes Risborough and Beaconsfield. One Saturday as a 13 year old saturday boy I was working in our Princes Risborough High Street shop and asked my dad if I could join the company when I finished school. He told me, “Yes boy if you can’t find anything better”. The innuendo was that he wanted me to find something better. Whenever I brought the subject up again I was told that the shops 'wouldn’t be enough for me’. The phrase became family lore but didn't make sense to me. I found out later from mum that dad fancied himself as a solicitor. He'd been impressed by Tony Durrant coming in the shop wearing a sombrero and decided that the law was fun. In those days solicitors weren't allowed to advertise for work. It was considered unbecoming but permissable if a stranger saw you out and about and happened to ask you what you did for a living!
 
I liked to be on the shop floor selling because that was what the business was about. I listened to argument upon argument between dad and his brothers about salesmanship. I don't think there was any aspect of sales and selling that they left out. One of my favourites was the useless sales person who 'could'nt sell a glass of water to someone dying of thirst'. There was no money in shoe repairs and dad emphasised that it was all about selling. There are people who can't sell and don't like selling although I couldn't understand why. We had first class products tried and tested and guaranteed to last so we could sell them with confidence. When I'd been diagnosed and treated the three of us together at Princes Risborough ran the business like clockwork. For a while customers had a truly unbeatable service until Dad dropped a bombshell. He announced that he was on the point of closing the Beaconsfield branch due to underpermance. Following my uncle Dereks retirement in 1981 the shop had been run by his manager but sales had been falling steadily despite its excellent position in the town and large stock of quality mens ladies and childrens footwear. Well before I returned to the fold Dad and David had not been able to work out why the store was losing money. I’d been there briefly while I was badly depressed and shouldn't have been working. I hadn't then been diagnosed by the experts. Afterwards I was quickly back to normal and the difference in me was dramatic. Dad asked me to take a look at Beaconsfield and see if I could find anything wrong. He believed there had to be something because of the low takings. I duly went over to meet with the manager. 
 
During our first meeting I noticed that many of the main stock styles weren't being displayed at all. There were best sellers not out on display which for an underperforming shop was not a good sign. Once sold they should be replaced immediately. The manager assured me that he'd attend to that. The following week despite his promise still nothing had been done. I realised something was up by the time of our third meeting when they were still missing. I expected a few gaps but none of the main stock lines was out on show. What made it worse was the managers reaction. He didn't appear worried in the least. I put David in the picture and we held a managers meeting at Risborough for a review. He accepted his shortcomings and agreed to bring the branch up to the same standard as Princes Risborough and Great Missenden. The following day however he simply handed in his resignation and dad dismissed him on the spot. Father wasn’t happy and told me to manage the store myself. In my youth dad was very particular about his staff. That was during my successful pre-bipolar years when I was dads golden boy and a useful conversation topic with customers. Bipolar soon put paid to that! I wasn’t on his pedestal anymore and he stopped mentioning me in the shop. He never recovered from the blow of my shameful illness although when I rescued Beaconsfield there was a reprieve. Fortunately Mum was more resilient but dad couldn't help being stigmatised by my label. Nonetheless it was a real stroke of luck for Wainwrights when I was finally diagnosed by people who knew what they were doing. I could easily have worked again as a solicitor but after my recent experiences I wondered what if any firm would want me with bipolar! As it was I was more than paying my way in the shoe business having bailed out my father and brother who would’ve sold the branch off.
 
Without me Wainwrights Shoes at Beaconsfield would've been sold off. The state of the branch was worse than imagined and without going into detail the manager had let the staff fool around and do what they wanted. How Dad and David didnt realise I'll never know! David had worked there regularly and must have had some idea! Anywhere else they’d have been sacked for misconduct. Getting the shop back into shape wasn’t the easiest of tasks. Initially there were difficult staff who caused a bad atmosphere and customers were saying the branch had a bad reputation. I assured them I’d soon put things right. I was surprised at the end of the week that takings had increased as much as they did. After my first year turnover had increased by nearly 70% (£350,000 approx). A huge increase like that is exceptional and dad was obviously pleased. He actually said he didn't know how I'd done it. David could've told him. Since uncle Dereks retirement in 1981 I estimate the Beaconsfield shop lost approximately £2,000,000 (two million pounds)! Had the store been sold and closed down Dad could not have purchased the freehold of 188 Maxwell Road which he bought privately for us children. The property became a highly profitable investment held in trust for us. The Trust named C& D Properties received all the rent from Wainwrights Shoes which is now enjoyed by my siblings but not me. I’ll explain later that I had to sell my 25% share in the property to brother Stephen. That was grossly unfair but I was under the cosh and could do nothing about it. The shop at Great Missenden was in a sorry state and soon closed. Without me 'The Family Shoe Shops' would've become one branch only. I've been asked why I wasn't given the Beaconsfield branch under my settlement agreement. The answer is that David managed to persuade Dad to make an 'unfair will' in his youngest sons favour
 
Dad was pleased for once with the shop in profit but David seemed subdued. I started to sense a change in his attitude. It looked to me as though my success at Beaconsfield had left my brother with a feeling of inadequacy. There was no need for it! I was eight years older, had a different background and a wider experience of working with people. On the other hand I'd been hammered by bipolar1 depressions and a manic episode so I hadn't had it easy. Far from it in fact. David made no secret that he preferred to work on his own so we would actually have been a very good fit. Dad was never good with problem staff. He made it no secret that he couldnt face upsetting anyone. The two of them together were not the greatest personnel team because a boss has to be firm. Dad made another bad mistake when he gave in to David and let him build a computerised stock control system from scratch. It was far too much for a business of our size to undertake and I made my objection clear. The project needed specialists and was going to be too time consuming for a small footwear retailer. Stock control systems could be purchased off the shelf but David liked gadgets and had set his heart on it. As usual dad gave in and David got his way but was annoyed that I wasn't in favour and regarded the shop floor the priority. Neglect it at your peril. He hoped to sell his system to the trade and although he had no takers he appeared happy enough. I thought it had all been a costly hobby. We should have concentrated on selling footwear. How making a bespoke stock control system, would significantly grow our business I never understood. We had enough on our plates. Great Missenden needed replacing with a new and larger outlet at Wendover or Amersham. That would have immediately boosted turnover and made a big difference to the company. All David and Dad had done was to replace the mess I'd cleared up at Beaconsfield with a millstone! I was the only one there with a pragmatic view for expanding the company and able to manage the staff properly. It's a sad story but it puts Wainwrights into perspective. I got word that my coodirectors were laughing that I couldnt work with one of the Risborough staff members they thought difficult. I couldnt believe they were stupid enough to do so and be heard. Not only were they wrong but doing it behind my back and in front of staff was pathetic. Two highly paid directors working together next to the sales floor had nothing better to do than cause trouble between staff. Considering their previous failings and those which followed I can't forget it 

 
If you want to sell footwear at retail you need a lot of experience of the shop floor, staff and customers. Anyone able to do it as my father once did was valuable. The business is about knowing automatically what to do and say. I’ve never met anyone who could do it as well as dad. I think that was one of Davids reasons for taking on his stock system. He didn’t have people skills and it was something he liked. During opening hours I belonged on the shop floor selling. Everyone wants to be the buyer in retail rather than serve customers. I never met a sales rep who disagreed! Selling footwear particularly childrens is hard work but is a big advantage to the shop if you’re born to it. I always felt I was. It was the first thing I saw dad doing. Dad liked working at Princes Risborough but I noticed he never spent time at the other shops. If you want your business to succeed selling footwear out of several shops you have to know all your sales staff acros the board and that they’re with you. If you don’t physically work with them how can you assess them? Staff are your most important asset and if you can't lead by example you'll fall short. Mollycoddling them in the hope they’ll like you is pathetic! During our final quarrel before I left Wainwrights David was laughing at my size puffing out his cheeks and bragging how popular he was with the Risborough staff! My concern was about who were best for the business. As Beaconsfield got busier I made sure customers were always getting plenty of attention. I never objected to Davids preference for the office and he was never in doubt that the shop floor was my priority.

David wasn't happy that I'd come back from the law in the first place. After my diagnosis and recovery it was perfectly obvious that I'd made a mistake thinking the legal work was making me ill. The better I became the larger the chip on my brothers shoulder became. I was visiting Princes Risborough one day when a customer exclaimed how much she’d missed me and hoped I was back from Beaconsfield to stay! At the top of his voice David shouted out, "what’s wrong with me?". The lady, a retired nurse from the surgery next door, began apologising until I intervened. His outburst was immature. Ignoring dads advice about university was a mistake. As a result he lacked confidence and people skills. University isn't just about studying it's getting on with people learning differences of opinions. He'd turned down a priceless opportunity. Customers liked me but it made David feel inferior and he became so upset that his jealousy turned to hatred. How could I possibly have known that he'd ever look at me as his rival?
 
Before bipolar set in most of my life like many others, was spent in groups at school, sports, army, university etc. Learning teamwork was essential but easy for me thanks to dad. He said the best team members look after others before themselves so I followed his example and watched everything he did. I learnt to greet and hold customers as necessary and I always had something to talk about whether it was France, the army, the law or and sport. Wainwrights was a ‘talking’ shop but I noticed David was beginning to rubbish it. Dad said he wasn't good with people but never put his foot down as he did with me. He’d been ok when I left the law badly depressed but when I got my personality back he saw it as a threat. Although he didn’t like the Wainwrights chat he had his own sales style which was perfectly good. What he really missed was confidence. Our accountant Paul B noticed the problem and dad came up with a good solution. We agreed that if things between us got worse I could start a business of my own 'under the umbrella of Wainwrights’. Our ‘umbrella agreement’ was a welcome reassurance for me. An amdram friend asked David if he was coming to see me in a play. He ignored her and simply walked off in silence. Over the years I had more insults from my brother than I could mention. We were as different as two brothers could ever be. Seeing a Saturday girl during a visit he muttered " big baz--kas". The young lady hadn't heard so I kept my thoughts to myself
 
Stephen said dad had made a ‘temporary’ will to protect David should he die before negotiations were over. I still don't know who had the idea but I suspect it was David. Dad asked my old boss Richard Sherwood to draw it up even though Richard said it was unfair. Dads unfair will  gifted my brother David a huge advantage but didn't change our Wainwrights ‘umbrella agreement’. RS was embarrassed. I wondered why he shot off when I stopped to say hello! During that time I had the nigh on impossible job of starting a business from home without premises or funds. After several wasted efforts the only choice I had was selling on an eBay shop! That situation went on for years until dad passed on. I wonder if any other brother has behaved so maliciously. Stephen kept me in touch with progress. In 2009 I was astonished to hear that as well as the unfair will dad had also given David my uncle Kens half shareholding in the company to make doubly sure he got control of the business. I don't think the transfer was legal. I was under the cosh and not at my best - would anyone be? I arranged a meeting with dad and Dr G my psychiatrist who confirmed I was perfectly well. Dad promptly told Stephen that he didn't feel able to come to a final decision and wanted the four of us to do so. Dad also said he didn’t want Dave, Sandy and Stephen to be able to "gang up” on me. Stephen said that Alison rather than David did most of the talking but she was blinkered with no concern about our family harmony. Stephen wanted us all to get on but it depended on Alison. I’d never really spoken to her but it didn't stop her interferring in our private family business. Under the unfair will the three of us shared the house while David had the entire Wainwrights business. Later at the shop David pulled a face and told me, ‘there was nothing I could do about it’.If Wainwright & Sons had honoured our 'umbrella' agreement Maria and I would’ve opened a womens footwear shop in Thame. It would’ve been a hit and my girls would’ve loved it. If David had agreed, it would’ve set us up as dad intended and things could have been harmonious as I'd intended when I left. David however saw the opportunity of getting the company for himself and also of gaining revenge for being made to feel inferior. He had me completely at his mercy and he could do just as he wished. Bipolar is known as cruel for many reasons. It sets you up in life then brings you down spitefully with next to no warning. It takes time to recover and longer still to regain your confidence. I had better luck than many because I always had people to look after me. During my lengthy final depression I drank too much and could easily have become alcoholic if it wasn’t for my girls. I often think about mum and what she’d want me to do. I realised I was a fool to have kept quiet about Davids jealousy. It was as if I’d put him before myself. He was 8 when mum and dad made me his guardian. I taught him to ride his bike on Manor Park Avenue and remember him running into a workman filling a pothole. It’s hard to believe that once we laughed! 
 
My leaving settlement was ruined on dads death. Up to that point David wanted to draw them out. I felt that Stephen had divided interests and should resign as ‘broker’ but I didn’t pursue the point because his usual opinion was objective. I heard that some people knew Alison as a gold digger. At their local tennis club she saw David as a better prospect than her then boyfriend a plumber. I was appalled to hear that David asked his friend if he'd mind if he took Alison out! The young man was so embarrassed that he emigrated to Australia. I couldn't believe my ears. It was a heartless and selfish thing to do. 

Working from home and negotiating by email left me out of touch with the company.When it came to our 'umbrella' agreement Dad and David refused to honour it saying money was short. I was in a hopeless position forced into a corner. Dad as the major shareholder and was at an age where I couldn’t upset him. Despite the long history of Davids aggravation he'd probably never heard any of the details because I never told him. I found out later that David and his wife had begun telling people I had bipolar and that it was the reason I left! It certainly wasn't and looking back I made a mistake not to challenge the lie. If I'd remained at work I could have stopped their gossip and had better leverage to enforce our agreement. Instead I did the decent thing and avoided any confrontation in front of staff. Can you imagine how that would've affected dad and the business? It didnt do me any good because I received nothing from Wainwrights to fund my new business as I'd been promised. While I did my best to earn a living working at home my coodirectors were conspiring against me. We had made an agreement which I relied on but they reneged on it and began telling me that it was my ‘predicament’. That was also dishonest. By not keeping their word it was inevitable that I would have no income and financial disaster was predictable. David scoffed at my situation but he'd never started a new business or even save the existing one at  Beaconsfield . Dads own business experience was hardly a good example. He and his brothers leased a shop at Reading left a manager in charge and closed it soon after as unprofitable. I'd have thought he'd have learnt from that. He lost his main savings when Equitable Life collapsed. The agent Tim Frost said he never thought he'd ever earn so much. That would have made most people suspicious. Despite their failings my coodirectors suggested that I wasnt good with money. I never asked them to explain because I knew perfectly well I was a very safe pair of hands. I got a distinction in the Solicitor Accounts exam paper. In truth they were using  bipolar stigma. Once you have bipolar certain people will always think you're guilty! I knew I wasn't and so did my psychdocs but stigma has power over ignorance. As a retail businessman I was far better at the job than the two of them. The proof is in the pudding. David knew that what he was doing was wrong but thought he would get away with it. He and his wife Alison should compensate me and my girls so that we're in the position we would've been had they behaved honestly 

Just before Dad died he suggested to Stephen that he bought my 25% share in the Maxwell Rd Beaconsfield property Trust to finance my business and pay off our mortgage. It was hardly fair since the trust was intended for our family use and NOT for settling Wainwrights & Sons liabilities. I think the transaction should be set aside and I be compensated for the broken ‘umbrella’ agreement. I haven't heard anyone say they thought the ‘temporary’ will was fair and I don’t understand how my lawyers let it go. The only people to benefit were David and Alison and I wonder how they persuaded dad who apparently could'nt make up his mind.
 
I'm used to hard work so I laboured away at my home business hoping to get into profit. There always seemed to be a lot going on behind my back at Princes Risborough it’s only with the benefit of hindsight that I can see that I should have gone back to stop it. My girls aren’t fighters and I'm pleased about that. Although it meant I was on my own I was used to that. Having lost mum dad was living by himself, ever vulnerable with David and wife just a couple of houses away. Dad was seldom cheerful and I shudder to think what was going through his mind. I can see the situation very clearly now and understand his distress. I couldn’t do anything about it but less greedy David and Alison could have. If they’d had the decency to put their appetites aside, make me a fair 'umbrella' offer we could have had a happy ending. I'm appalled by the way she carried on but I doubt that it would worry her. Sandra called Alison ‘volatile’ but she did admit to me that she and David were saying I'd left the business ‘because of my bipolar’. That was a lie and would have influenced dad who knew I'd succeeded where they hadn't

I've finished up with limited funds purely because of my brothers bitterness and his greedy wife. I'd saved and managed our Beaconsfield shop better than he and my father could for many years. Apparently I was missed when I left. Some of the customers even thought me an icon. To be sure he definitely wanted me gone I wrote to David amicably but he never replied. I asked later why not and he said my letter didn’t ‘warrant’ a reply. His attacks were usually behind my back. He'd been feeding my sister nonesense. I’d had a problem with Woolworths lorries blocking our staff. No sooner had they agreed to stop they broke the agreement. David  accused me of 'running to solicitors' and complained to Sandra who told me I was at fault! It wasnt her business and looked as if he was priming her which she may not have realised
 
As a chartered accountant Stephen knew about small business economics and accounting but if all's ok there it's managing personel that's key. He did a good job on the whole but was under pressure handling a difficult job. Dad had recently lost Mum and was now on his own with this difficult family matter. It didn’t help me that he depended on David and Alison at work and at home. On the phone once I heard Alison burst in his living room asking if he was ready for the meeting we'd just arranged.  So much for privacy! She came and went as she wished and knew all about his personal affairs. In truth the way he conducted himself David didn’t have a very good case against me! All he had was the 'unfair will' that somehow he'd  procured. Whose idea was it in the first place? It was in Davids interest that dad passed on before my settlement was agreed.
 
My accusations are clear and my lawyers were wrong not to challenge Davids hostility. They relied on nothing apart from lies and the 'unfair' will. They said I left Wainwrights because I had bipolar and for good measure made out I’d hit dad in the face. Everyone who heard called dads ‘temporary will’ 'unfair'. According to Stephen dad didn’t actually want it to take effect!
 
At the start of my negotiations I needed a first class lawyer. I’d been hoping former boss SG would act for me but Richard the senior partner had drawn up dads ‘unfair’ will and the firm turned me down because of the conflicting interests. SG and RS turned a blind eye to my illness when I resigned to avoid being stuck with me. SG suggested I ask my friend R. I’d known him for years but he wasn’t the determined litigator that SG was. He took on my case at a ‘friends rate’ and soon arranged to meet a barrister in chambers. They were a let-down. Self-important they knew all about bipolar 'because a relation had it'. The inference was that my illness counted against me! Without hearing any details counsel dismissed claiming for my brothers behaviour saying the lawyers would all be buying 'new sets of ermine robes'. I never asked R why he chose her! I didn’t criticise him then because of our friendship. We’d discussed what would happen if we fell out. Sadly we learnt the hard way not to mix work and friendship. During the case R also let slip some remarks which a friend would not make. He said that Wainwrights, "didn't have a bottomless pit of money" and implied that people with bipolar only had basic jobs. Demoralised I still had the worry about keeping my bipolar secret. In the circumstances I reluctantly took my lawyers advice and had to accept dads ‘unfair’ will. Six years later I asked R for his old file from storage because I wanted to check the details of everything that was said. He refused point blank and told me to do it myself. I found out that he’d not dealt with the process properly. The file should have been preserved by Blaser Mills and Newman High Wycombe but they destroyed it without ever warning or asking me. I asked the Law Society for assistance but they said it wasn’t their responsibility. My understanding over the years was that solicitors are required to retain files which relate in any way to a clients mental illness for their lifetime. Now my bipolar illness is in the open I don't feel inhibited anymore and am in a much better position
 
What worries me most is my familys' financial security when I'm gone. I know mum would want me to put the record straight and to fight David and Alison for fairness. She was fairer minded than dad and said several times she had no illusions about David. Had she survived our father none of this would've happened. Mum would never have been swayed by anyone else because she had a mind of her own. David always hid behind his father and then his wife. I'm astonished that he was able to get away with it. When I left my daughter Chloe spent 10 days in hospital intubated. The entire family visited us but not David. He used Dads vulnerability and forced him into a corner. Selfishly he involved the shop staff for his own gain. No thanks to my lawyers David and his wife have never been questioned about their behaviour.